Moms have, in my opinion, the most important job in the world. That’s a big responsibility. All of us feel inadequate at times, like we don’t know what we’re doing, or we are just doing it all wrong. We feel judged by other moms who seem to have it all together. And we think mean things about ourselves! Hello put-downs!! If I heard my kids talking about themselves the way I talk about myself, I’d put them in time-out. Raise your hand if you’ve ever thought to yourself, “I’m not a very good mom!”.
What makes us overcritical of our mom skills?? We are bombarded by everyone else’s “Mary Poppins moments” and think of them as the standard. What’s a “Mary Poppins moment”? It’s that phenomenon when the planets align and everything is lovely and we want to share our triumph with the world. You know the ones I’m talking about: you’re wearing makeup and actual clothes. The kids are playing happily with the organic homemade play dough that you made together. You snap a happy little selfie and post it on Facebook. We all do it. There’s nothing wrong with that.
What’s wrong is comparing all your other moments to all the Mary Poppins moments floating around on social media. You know the moment when you yell at your five year-old to “just try one flipping piece of the dinner I made for you” and they bawl as you shove the food into their mouth and they gag and end up hurling all over their dinner plate. And you step back and want to hide your face in shame at your lack of patience….your human moment. Are you about to post a picture of that on Facebook? Heck no!! Well guess what…the mom that “has it all together” has those moments, too. You just don’t see them.
We moms are all human. Not one of us gets it all right all the time. We are all in the same mom boat. So give yourself a break. You’re doing the best you can and no one can ask for more than that. And your kids love you for it. Even on your worst days, there is no one in the world they would rather have tuck them into bed at night. God put your kids into your arms because you are the perfect mother for them.
I asked my kids, “what makes a good mommy?” and my wise six year-old son said, “A good mommy loves her kids”. From the mouths of babes, people. A good mommy loves her kids. That’s it! There was no mention of keeping a perfectly clean house, or never yelling, or always making a nutritious dinner…none of that. A good mommy loves her kids.
We all love our kids more than all the stars in the sky, more than all the fish in the sea, more than we love our own selves. And that is enough. You are enough, adequate, amazing. Love your kids as hard as you can and show them in as many ways as you can think of. Tell them, hug them, discipline them, kiss them, sing to them, teach them, play with them, protect them, and nurture them. Just love them. And you do. And that’s what makes you the BEST mom in the world.
If you enjoyed this post, check out its sister post especially for new moms here.